teenager- a perpetual uphill battle which may or may not end to your advantage.
Costco- the opportunity to only have to buy mayonnaise once for the next 10 years.
marriage- like dating only with less sex and more frustration.
"the owl craze"- what ryan gosling told me I started (he was right).
college- a place where as long as you can read and regurgitate large amounts of useless information you will be awarded with a degree which will mean nothing when you are waiting tables at Chili's to pay off the enormous amount of debt you got into attending said place.
Gerard Butler- what God intended man to be, with an awesome accent.
Christmas- when we celebrate the birth of Jesus by mass consumption of all the things he tells us we don't need.
"fashion forward"- looking like a 4 year old whose mom told her she could dress herself and having gay men tell you how creative and edgy you are.
football- a complete waste of everyone's time
coffee- the nectar of the gods, Johns honey, sweet liquid manna from heaven.
Haha this is amazing!
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