He watched her walk over to the window, wringing her hands.
She was so distressed that the press wasn’t paying attention to her, that she
didn’t even notice him leaving the room. She never noticed him. She had killed
the man that she was cheating on him with and all she cared about was fame. She
didn’t realize that he was the one person who had stood by her. He hadn’t
divorced her; he had paid for her lawyer.
What pained him the most was that he knew that he deserved
better, but that he still loved her. It was freezing, but he didn’t feel the
cold. The wind was blowing and his nose turned red. His feet crunched the ice
beneath them as he walked along. With every crunch, he took a deep breath. It
wasn’t fit for a grown man to cry, but he didn’t know what to do next.
He knew that there would be a divorce and he knew that she
probably wouldn’t care, wouldn’t make it difficult for him. He knew that the
guys at the shop would be sympathetic. They had told him to leave her, let her
fend for herself, that women were seldom executed in Chicago. They had been
nice, but hadn’t understood, when he decided to support her.
He tried to be positive. She was a lazy, philandering drunk
and he was better off without her. Half of the country was starving, and he had
a good job. He made a decent living. He was a nice person. He knew that this
would pass, but that didn’t make it any easier.
As soon as he got to the apartment, he began packing up her
things. He could hardly stand to look at them. His stomach began to churn and he
vomited all over one of her slips.
When he was done being sick, he finished packing her things
and lay down on the bed. It was freezing in the apartment, he hadn’t been home
to turn on the heat, and he could see his breath. He lay there, eyes wide open,
until the morning came.
He got up, got dressed, and went to work. Life was going on.
Roxie was gone; she would probably not come for her things until she knew he
wasn’t there. In all likelihood, he would never see her again. It was fine with
him, he knew that there was nothing left to do or say. When he got to work, he
immediately felt some peace.
He knew cars. He knew how they worked;
he knew how to fix them. There was a certain confidence that overtook his quiet
existence when he held a wrench in his hand. It was as though the weight of the
tool grounded him to world. When he was fixing cars, he was in command. It was
the only area of his life in which he was completely comfortable and confident.
Five years later, he was still working at the same garage. He lived quietly, and he still lived
alone. He had built a nice life for himself, however. He played cards with the
men he worked with. He attended church and sang in the choir.
He had never been the type to enjoy the speakeasies and the
jazz clubs. Maybe that was why he hadn’t been the man for Roxie. She was
traveling the world, performing. He saw her picture in the paper from time to
time. It seemed that she had achieved everything that she dreamt of. He was
happy for her. He didn’t miss her and he certainly did not want to be a part of
her new life.
He took a deep breath and walked through the doors of the
church. This Sunday was different. This Sunday, he was going to talk to the
woman that led the choir. He was going to ask her to sit with him during coffee
and fellowship after the service. If that went well, he was going to ask her if
he could take her to a movie.
She was very plain. She had dark brown hair and brown eyes.
She dressed modestly and had a singing voice that rang clear as a bell
throughout the sanctuary. He had loved her from the moment he laid eyes on her,
but she was quiet and shy and he didn’t want to scare her. Everyone at the
church knew about his past. They knew about Roxie and her crimes and they knew
that he had stayed with her, only to have her turn her back on him. She had no
past and his was intimidating.
The service ended and he walked over slowly. He waited for
her to say her goodbyes to the person that she was talking to and then he said,
“Hi, Elizabeth, I’m Amos. I know we haven’t spoken much but
I was wondering if you would like to sit with me during fellowship. I would
like to get to know you a little bit better.”
“Mr. Hart, I would be delighted,” she replied, smiling.
He knew right then that his lonely existence was changing
and that Roxie was not going to cast a shadow on his life any longer.
No comments:
Post a Comment